


i don't love you

by Vanilaya



Category: UNIQ (Band), VICTON (Band), X1 (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Break Up, Emotional Hurt, I am so sorry, M/M, Read at Own Risk, so much pain, this is just sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-21
Updated: 2019-11-21
Packaged: 2021-02-24 22:40:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,342
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21506611
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vanilaya/pseuds/Vanilaya
Summary: Seungwoo's heart doesn't ache when Seungyoun cries.
Relationships: Cho Seungyeon | Seungyoun & Han Seungwoo, Cho Seungyeon | Seungyoun/Han Seungwoo
Comments: 7
Kudos: 34





	i don't love you

Out of all the places in the universe, they fell in love at a random math class at too-early-AM. Seungyoun was 20 and Seungwoo has just turned 22. They said it was fate that bought them together, and they vowed to stay together ever since that day. 

Seungwoo was there when Seungyoun twisted his ankle before his 21st birthday, and they had to cancel their scheduled trip to Disneyland and decided to rather spend the day in bed together. The way too comfortable atmosphere between the – still unfamiliar – acquaintances had made them both fall asleep in each other’s arms while watching the newest toy story. They both say that’s the day they knew they were meant to be. You wouldn’t feel that comfortable with someone who wasn’t made solely to comfort you forever, Seungyoun would argue and Seungwoo would laugh and agree. 

Their first trip overseas was to Seungyoun’s friends in Portugal. A whole day was spent traveling with different trains and planes, and Seungwoo’s first night in a new country was spent in a shady Airbnb that Seungyoun’s friend’s brother’s something lent away for free. The shower was flooded and the ceiling too high to clean away all the spiderwebs that were forming. The bedsheets looked too used and there were no kitchen or refrigerator to neither store nor cook food. The new couple didn’t mind however, their first anniversary was spend sleeping clothed, but cuddling, on Seungyoun’s blanket put on top of the used duvet. As long as they had each other everything would be ok.

Three weeks were spent traveling around to different friends and acquaintances of Seungyoun, and Seungwoo really enjoyed getting all this new information and new perspectives of his beloved boyfriend. Their trip couldn’t have been more successful, and when Seungwoo was fast sleep with his head on Seungyoun shoulder waiting or the plane to take off, the latter couldn’t help but realize how they didn’t fight during their whole trip – not even once. Seungyoun had always been struggling to express his feelings, and while Seungwoo had casually been throwing “I love you”s at Seungyoun at least twice a day, Seungyoun himself had been quietly trying to adapt to this new form of affection. On this day however, with an unknowing and sleeping Seungwoo next to him, he whispered his most precious, deepest secret before falling asleep himself. “I love you, Han Seungwoo”.

Ever since Seungyoun met Seungwoo, he had been happy. Five years had gone by and a lot had changed. Seungwoo had graduated and started working as a movie direction on a film that was taking place on the other side of town, but he still made time to come by Seungyoun’s school and pick him up for lunch. Seungyoun still had some years to go, after changing him major into law and having to retake some classes he failed earlier on. He didn’t mind that they didn’t get to spend every day together anymore. Sure, their relationship was changing, but Seungyoun was sure it was evolving into a comfortable adult relationship where they weren’t as dependent on each other as they used to be. After he met Seungwoo he had been so happy every day. Whenever he had a rough day, and closed his eyes to calm himself down, he would imagine a smiling Seungwoo smiling down at him and pulling him in to a comforting hug. Seungwoo was so warm and understanding, and Seungyoun couldn’t remember a life without him. 

Ever since Seungwoo met Seungyoun, he had been happy too. Seungyoun had called him one night, crying from all the stress he had been experiencing with school lately. Seungwoo had tried to calm him, telling him he was willing to do anything to make the younger feel more comfortable. He had spent three hours on the phone with Seungyoun that night, it was only when the clocked passed midnight that they realized they both should get some sleep before scheduling a café date the next day. After they said their goodbyes, Seungwoo came to the heartbreaking realization 

his heart didn’t ache when Seungyoun cried.

The next day Seungwoo was too confused to speak up about his feelings, and the pure happiness he saw in Seungyoun’s eyes when he sat down next to him at the café made him shiver. He continued to live a lie towards the one he loved the most, while simultaneously realizing the one thing he feared the most. He even made promises for the future, knowing very well he would never be able to fulfill them. They made plans to go for a hike when the winter passed, and the weather became nicer. They made plans to travel back to Seungyoun’s friends in Portugal, because they had both been studying Portuguese and wanted to try it out. They even made plans to spend New Year’s Eve together with Seungwoo’s cousins at their cabin up in the mountains. Seungwoo found it hard to lie but knowing how hard it would crush Seungyoun he kept delaying their breakup. 

Seungwoo mustered up the courage a month later as they were walking their usual evening trips by the beach. Seungyoun small hand safely placed in Seungwoo’s bigger one, so trusting and unknowing of what were to come. The darkness made it hard for Seungwoo to see the constant glittering stars in Seungyoun’s eyes, and that was probably the only reason he was able to finally confess his real feelings. 

“I don’t know how to say this” 

Seungwoo hung his head down in shame, avoiding looking at the younger one who had stopped walking as he realized was the other one was doing. His usual bright smile fading down and a frown appearing on his forehead. Seungyoun didn’t need to hear more, he already knew what was coming. The awkward silence between them said it all. 

“I haven’t been feeling the same about us lately.”

Seungyoun looked up at his boyfriend, baffled by the unforeseen – but not quite surprising – confession. Their relationship hadn’t been the same lately, and it would take an idiot not to realize that. However, Seungyoun weren’t prepared for it all to end like this, he had imagined they would talk this out and agree to start all over again, or whatever couples do when they face difficulties like this. He didn’t expect Seungwoo to just give up on him like this. The moonlight was reflecting down on Seungwoo, making him look like an angel instead of the assassin Seungyoun felt he was portraying. 

“I realized my feelings had changed when I didn’t feel a single emotion watching you cry that one evening”

The second the words fell out of Seungwoo’s month, Seungyoun wished he could forget it all. That Seungwoo had been doubting the relationship longer than he had expected was already hard enough to wrap his head around. Realizing their relationship was coming to an end felt like being stabbed, and Seungwoo’s words were just twisting the knife deeper into his heart. He wanted him to shut up, but he couldn’t find the strength needed to open his mouth. He wanted to put his hand up in front of his mouth to make sure he didn’t say anything more damaging, but his hand was still placed in Seungwoo’s. Holding tightly onto the olders hand as if he would just float away if let go. 

Seungyoun didn’t even remember what life before Seungwoo was like, how was he supposed to survive this cold winter night knowing what he now knew. There was no sadness, no tears and no desperate scream for Seungwoo to take it all balk. All he felt was emptiness and a growing fear for the near future. How was he supposed to live without Seungwoo by his side? What was he supposed to do, now that his heart was broken so coldly in to a million tiny pieces? Who was going to put them all together and take away the emptiness Seungyoun was left feeling? 

“I am sorry Seungyoun, but I don’t love you anymore”

**Author's Note:**

> I am SO sorry i had to make Seungwoo the culprit in this one, and i am SO sorry if this made you sad but my ex just broke up with me this way and my only form of therapy is writing it all out. 
> 
> i love Seungwoo, Seungyoun and the whole of X1 with my everything. lets pray for a better 2020 for all of us that has been struggling this year. <3
> 
> thank you for reading, feedback is highly appreciated !!!


End file.
